Oh sister. I get it. You’ve all but given up. You think you’re the problem.
You hear about another one of your friends finding a happy relationship or celebrating an anniversary and you think, “What the f*ck is wrong with me? Why can’t I have that?”
And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it feels like it’s everywhere. Contrived and commercial as it may be, it’s still in your face.
You’ve had significant relationships. They ended. But if you’re really honest with yourself, you can see how those relationships were holding you back.
And you’re just not interested in letting anything or anyone hold you back ever again. Life is too short for that shit.
Since then, you’ve gotten to know you. Who you are, what you like, what makes you tick, and where you want to go. And damn, girl, you’re pretty fantastic, and you deserve the best that life has to offer.
Yep, you’ve dabbled in dating. At first it was fun: your phone blowing up with texts, meeting new men, having new experiences, getting back in the saddle of good sex for the first time in awhile, maybe ever.
You want something more lasting.
You don’t know where to find the *good* men.
You don’t even know how to date.
You hate the feeling you get when you meet someone you like – it makes you anxious to do everything right and you get all caught up before you’ve even had a first date. You think: he could be *it*.
And then he disappears.
And you’re like, “FUUUUUUUUUUCK. Why did I let that happen again!???”
I’ll tell you why you let it happen again. (And, because I like you, I’ll also tell you the secret to not letting it happen again.)
Dang it, you’ve been taught that good relationships are about finding good partners, the right partners. And the fairytale relationship just flows automatically from there.
Fairytales are good for one thing: setting unrealistic expectations.
What if I told you that the key to having a relationship that has you feeling satisfied and met equally by a partner has nothing to do with finding the right guy and keeping him, but everything to do with mastering yourself?
That’s right. You attract the exact match of what you’re willing and able to have right now.
And to go from where you were with your last fling to where you want to be now, you gotta up your game. You have to be willing and able to have more. (And you gotta work through those tiny voices in your head that tell you this is the best you’ll ever get, or that you don’t really deserve it, or that what you want is too much, too unrealistic.)
What if I told you there’s no dating game to play? Just you being you, fully. The layers of people-pleasing, being nice, and doing-it-the-way-*they*-say-you-should left behind in the same way a snake sheds the skin that no longer fits.
Shedding that skin is a process, and just like a snake, you can’t shed it while standing still. You gotta wiggle a bit. (Now would be a good time to lay down on the floor of wherever you’re reading this and slither like a snake, ok? 🙂
You move a little left. You move a little right. And through that wiggling, you move forward. Slow at first, and when the skin gets a little looser, then you’re cruising. Right on out of those habits, patterns, and shoulds…until you can’t even remember how things were when like when that skin felt like home.
What if I told you that the minute you decide to stand up for what you want, a whole new world of men will open up to you? As soon as you’re clear about what you want and you learn how to have the hard, often vulnerable conversations with the guys you care about, a whole new playing field of relationship will be available to you.
But where do I even start, you ask?
Start by filling in the blank to this question:
I’ll be able to have the relationship I want when ___________________.
Then put your answer in the comments below so I can support you in taking concrete action to move forward!