First, let me say I love you.
But, you’re predictable. (More on that in a moment.)
Honestly, I do love you. Even if we haven’t met. And because I love you, I want you to know how much more you can have. And then I want you to have it. I want you be brave enough to admit it, brave enough to go after it, and brave enough to walk away from anything that isn’t that. (After you’ve fully examined all your bullshit stories, that is, just to make sure you’re not avoiding where the real gold and growth is in your life.)
I can see you, heading nodding, “Yep, Rachel, I want that, too!”
The predictable part? There’s this conversation with women I have all the time. It goes something like this:
Me: Hey, how are things going with so-and-so?
Her: Oh, they’re good.
Me: Oh, that’s great. What’s good?
Her: Oh, well, we just got back from a weekend trip to the mountains, and it was pretty fun.
Her: Except he was being kind of weird on the way home. And then we had this strange argument over lunch. And by the time we got back to town, I really just needed to be by myself.
Her (and this is the important part!!!!): But, really, it’s not that big of a deal. We did have a fun time, and things will be fine in a day or so. Really, I’m so lucky to have him.
Replace the guy with any other topic: money, job, home, kid, parents…but it all still follows the same path.
You’re mostly content. Things are “fine.” And yet, there are little things that bug you from time to time.
Those things that bug you below the surface want to come to the surface, and as soon as they do, they get shoved back down again.
Because, really overall, life is pretty good.
Because you should be grateful for all that you have.
Because the anger/sadness/disappointment/frustration you have right now is really no big deal, or just temporary.
Because relationships take time for people to gel and figure each other out.
Because at this stage in your life, it’s as good as it gets.
Because expecting too much only leads to disappointment.
This isn’t gonna be popular, but I call bullshit.
My take is that you’ve decided to accept someone else’s shitty beliefs about how life is supposed to go. “Fine” has become good enough – and you don’t know how to have better.
There are lots of other beliefs that can creep in there too: you having more means someone else has to have less, your problems aren’t really problems when compared to problems around the world, etc, etc.
No matter what’s influencing those beliefs, you’ve accepted that having better than “fine” is a luxury.
But it’s not. It’s thriving instead of surviving. It’s being joyful instead of being numb. It’s being so deeply aligned with yourself that you have the exact experience that is intended for you.
Discounting what you feel because you feel like it’s “just how things are” is how you settle.
Even if it’s just for a moment.
Even if you know you’ll feel better tomorrow.
Even if you’re on your period. (Yeah, I said it!)
It is time for us to stop discounting how we feel. It’s harmful to us. It’s not helpful to those around us. And it never gets anyone what they really want.
And it starts with being ruthlessly honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel.
You ready to be more than just “fine”? Ready to have more than what’s “fine”?
I’m creating an intimate, one-time group coaching workshop around how to have more.
Five women, three hours, from wherever you are in the world with your internet connection.
Expand your vision of what’s possible, set old beliefs aside, and learn practical tools for allowing yourself to have it.
Want in? Go here for details and to register now for only $197. (Seriously, only five spots available.)
Questions? Email me.