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I cried in the bathroom four times in the last week. It was a rough go at parenting, y’all. (Also, Mother’s Day can suck it.)

Each time, I felt it coming on, and I’d excuse myself from whatever I was doing, head to the bathroom and sob. Felt every piece of sadness and misery and frustration. All of it. All said and done, each event lasted less than five minutes. 

Then I cleaned myself up, and went on about my day. And guess what? I actually had a great week. My kid and I had a ton of fun, I had a lot of wonderful things happen, and all in all, I’d call it a win. (Not a bad price to pay for 20 minutes of crying, if you ask me.)

Wait, what? I thought you said you cried in the bathroom four times?

I did. It’s true. Because I am a whole person, with many likes and dislikes, many emotions, many talents and many things I suck at. Sometimes I cry; sometimes I laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. Sometimes I love people and sometimes I hate them. Sometimes I get up really early, and sometimes I sleep in. I am a diverse human being.

Embracing the wholeness is where it’s at. 

Picture this. A red rubber ball from elementary gym class. When fully inflated, it bounces and rolls easily. But, when it’s soft and deflated, it’s challenging to direct it, or for it to get much momentum. 

So, even though the red rubber ball is whole in both situations, the inflated version of whole is the most powerful. 

Now picture that you are the ball. You are complete, just as you are. Are you inflated and bouncing along, or are you droopy and needing lots of pushing to get anywhere? 

A word about inflation. (But not the money kind.)

The ball doesn’t automatically inflate just by taking on more air. It comes from allowing the air to reach more places within the ball. If you want to become a buoyant, bouncing ball that sours on a clear path with joy and zest, you have to allow the air [energy, life] that enters the ball [you] to reach all the parts of you. 

It really is that simple. The part that’s challenging is getting out of the way so that can happen. 

When you are whole…

• Your frustration and anger is as beautiful as your joy and love.
• You free up all the energy it takes to bounce a deflated ball. 
• You free up all the energy that has you filtering yourself and putting on masks, trying to fit, trying to be something/someone.
• You feel more relaxed because you don’t have to worry so much about what’s appropriate or right. 
• You can be seen fully.
• You feel more at home in yourself. 

Confident, brilliant, and inspired.

I wasn’t always so confident. I wasn’t always so in touch with my emotions. I didn’t know I’d ever not care what others thought. I wasn’t always this way. 

This isn’t about having a particular personality. This is about growing into all the parts of you. 

When meeting people who ask about my story, I often start with something along the lines of, “In the last seven years, I’ve become an entirely different human being.” 

It’s funny because it’s true. In the best way. But all I really did was inflate the ball. I didn’t dye it blue, I didn’t put sequins or bumper stickers on it. I just inflated it. 

And I’ve been asked to share more of the story with you, so I’m going to! 

You’re invited to join me this Saturday, May 25, at 11:30 a.m. PST. 

If you’d like to join in, send me a message here, and I’ll pass along the link.

I promise it’ll be uncensored, unfiltered, and un-something else. Oh. Boring. It will be un-boring! (There will also be some time for questions at the end, too.)

Looking forward to seeing you there!

If you’ve ever met me in person, you likely have seen me carting along a 32 oz glass mason jar of water. It’s a little ridiculous, but I don’t like feeling thirsty. I’ve done it for so long that I don’t even think about it; it’s just part of what I do. 

It all started when plastic water bottles were bad for you…and every water bottle that I owned had a lid that leaked. It drove me batty, so one day, I put some water in a mason jar, screwed the lid on tight, threw it in my purse and went about my day. 

Something about it just worked. 

A good container means everything.

When we think about containers, we often think of water bottles or tupperware, or the cute little paperclip holders we keep on our desks. (I definitely do not, but some people do!) We think of the reusable grocery bags we take to the store, or the storage tubs we keep in the basement. We use containers for everything. 

Containers hold stuff.

Containers keep things contained. (Especially if the lid doesn’t fricking leak!)

Containers signal to us what we can expect lives inside of it, in one way or another. 

Containers help us know when we’ve reached capacity, and either need to reduce what we’re working with or move to a bigger container.

And just like I needed a mason jar to hold the amount of water I like to drink on a regular basis, people need containers to hold us and our energy as well.

Relationship agreements are a container. 

Job descriptions are a container.

Certain kinds of diets/eating plans are a container.

Any sort of “5-day challenge” is a container.

Change always happens within a well-constructed container.

Why? 

A container exists to provide the structure for energy to flow. The container includes intentions, expectations, agreements, and any other details that are necessary for all people involved to know what’s what. 

When the container is clearly defined and you commit to it, you just show up and do the work. The work gives the energy a place to go. 

The clarity of the commitment makes it a safe place to change. (Because if you show up and do the work you’ve committed to, you can’t help but change.)

If something in your life isn’t moving, it’s because it’s not being held by a clear container for it. 

Whether that’s the number on the scale or a big dream you’ve been thinking about forever, if there isn’t structure to support the energy to move, the energy that you put into thinking about it doesn’t have anywhere to go. (That’s when doubt sinks in big time…”Maybe I just wasn’t meant to have this.”)

You can build your own container, or you can use someone else’s. Either way, you want to make sure of two things. The first is that the intention behind the container really matches what you want for yourself, otherwise, you’ll resist the work like crazy, or it won’t get you where you want to go. The second is that you have accountability. (If you’re doing something new, it’s always a good idea to be sharing what you’re up to with at least one other person.)

Pro-tip: containers aren’t for punishment.

I’ve built a lot of powerful containers in my time. I do it for myself and my coaching clients all the time. Containers are a place to see what’s possible, not to bully ourselves into doing things better, or to suck less. Build a container that offers you possibility, not punishment, and you’ll be much happier with the results. 

Oh, and if you’d like some help to set up a container to help you create what you’ve been wanting to create, I can do that. Just send me a message and we can set something up. 

Here’s to us all having the containers that have us feel supported (and hydrated)!

I already know you’re a smart cookie – that’s part of what has you hanging around here. And smart ladies like us, well, we can see down the road like five or six steps further than most. So when we build a plan, we know exactly how it’s going to play out. 

But then, often enough, something comes along and smacks us upside the head that we never saw coming. 

– The event venue you had in mind is suddenly booked for the rest of eternity.

– Someone important in your life gets a major illness.

– The brand new car gets t-boned.

– A long-lost ex pops up out of nowhere, declaring his undying love for you.

You can’t plan for this. 

It is in these moments that we have a very distinct choice. The choice between, “The world is totally against me and doesn’t want me to have what I want,” and “Oh, well something more right for me right now must be on the way.” 

Don’t get me wrong, when things are not working in the way I expected them to, the last fucking thing I want someone to tell me is, “Oh, well something more right for you must be on the way.” (If you say this to me, make sure you’re out of being-punched-in-the-face range.)

But, me feeling frustrated about that would be because my ego somehow became attached to things happening in the way I decided they would. According to my plan. And that’s not how the world works, because there are lots of other moving parts at play.

Part of creating the life you want means being unattached to the details of how it happens.

Perhaps you’ve heard me mention a time or two that I have giant dreams for my life. I also have a very demanding day-to-day experience of raising a child with special needs.  A couple of months ago, I announced to you all that I was embarking on a yearlong experiment of following a daily framework for focus, action, and reflection – to venture into fully having all of those dreams materialize. 

I’m 65 days in, and it’s been incredible. A lot has shifted in my reality. Letting go of the “how” it all happens has been the most important part (and is a daily work in progress). 

Because when you have financial goals in mind, and very strong hit of intuition comes through that you should consider becoming a financial dominatrix, and you’re like, “WTF?!” it can be a little jarring to everything you thought you were up to, and your sense of who you are. 🙂 

Don’t worry, I’m not becoming a financial dominatrix (at least at the moment), but I followed the thread far enough to get the nugget of gold in that idea – and boy, it was so good! 

So, what does a plan that can change at any moment and still get you where you want to go look like?

For me, it looks less like a plan, and more like a framework. There are things I do every single day that I know, over time, will get me exactly where I want to be. (Hint: they have nothing to do with having it all figured out, routines, or working really hard.) 

As we see more and more that our push to become who we want to be and have what we want to have often asks us to set aside who we are, the framework I am working with is very much the opposite. Embrace who you are – the fullest version of you – and walk steadily towards all that you want, knowing that you just have to know two things: what you want it to look and feel like when you have it, and what to do right now – all through the lens of your highest sense of self. 

It sounds juicy, doesn’t it? 

If you half think I’m crazy, but also think it’s brilliant enough to explore, you’re in the right place! 

So, two things: 

1. You can learn this framework. I’m offering a free Masterclass on the framework this Friday, May 10 at 9:00 a.m. PST. Click here to register!(If you can’t catch it live, I’ll send you a recording.)
2. And, if you’d like to see how this plan-less plan all develops, I’m opening up enrollment again to observe and/or participate in the framework experiment. People who’ve been following along are doing their own experiments and getting lots of insight just by watching me break down my own internal process. Plus, join me for one live Q+A session a month to ask me anything! In the next month or two, I’m planning to include lessons on the tools I use, so you can expand your ability to reach those dreams without having to work harder. It’s a really great place to try out doing things a little differently in a space where there’s no room for judgement, just the truth. (Once this happens, when I open enrollment again, the price will go up, so now is your last chance to get it at this price point.)

See you on the other side! Or…next week, whichever comes first. 🙂