I’ve been sick this week. Like, take-me-down, I’ll-be-in-bed, don’t talk to me or touch me kind of sick.
And it’s been ah-mazing.
I know, being sick isn’t that enjoyable. But, I was sick enough that all bets were off for any expectations I had of myself. I laid in bed and watched Grey’s Anatomy and The Bachelor, and I slept in one morning until 10:30. (I don’t think I’ve done that in at least ten years.)
And, you know, my kid survived. He somehow got fed, and was pretty stoked about how much screen time he got. He’s still alive, and no worse for the wear.
As I came out from under the rock, I realized something.
I could let shit go way more often than I do.
For me, it’s brought up the list of things I tolerate in my life because I want things to go smoothly, not necessarily because I want them.
Being patient or strong or committed is not the same as tolerating something.
We have taught ourselves that pain and struggle is something to be survived, and to come out victorious on the other side. The problem with this is that we often don’t think we’re doing life right (in any aspect) unless it’s hard.
“I’m busting my ass at work/in my business to really make this project happen.”
“I’m really working on my relationship so that we have more evenly distributed chores/time together/whatever.”
“It’s so hard to find the time to get to the gym during the workweek, but I’m really trying to make it happen.”
You wear the badge of, “If it’s not hard, it’s not worth doing.”
We like hard. It lets us prove how tough we are, how committed we are, how nothing can break us.
And in the process, woman, we lose track of what is grit, and what is some Grade A Bullshit.
Yes, there may be times when you have to put more attention and energy towards certain parts of your life. And it may not always feel like running through a sunny meadow on a Spring day.
But if it’s always hard, something you’re doing is out of whack with who you are. That’s where you’re putting up with doing things that aren’t really true to you.
So, my list that showed up over the last couple of days?
I’m going to confess, I know better, so this feels a little painful to share. But, like I always say, awareness is half the battle.
- I’ve been tolerating being my kid’s playmate because I’ve been feeling bad for not scheduling more social time with others.
- I’ve been tolerating doing what he wants to do when we spend time together because there’s less arguing.
- I’ve been tolerating my exercise routine going to the wayside because I feel like I can only ask for a “certain amount” of help from other caregivers during the day.
There are more, but you get the idea.
Your turn: make your list!
Save your grit for the times in your life when you really need it. And don’t wait until you’re totally taken out of the game through being sick or any other means to decide what’s not really that important – you don’t need for it to get hard for you to decide what you’re ready to let go of.
What have you been tolerating in your life? What’s it costing you to keep doing so? Leave a comment below and share them with me! Or, better yet, let’s schedule a complimentary call and I’ll give you some tools for breaking up with the things you’re done putting up with!